To face the good, bad and ugly in my life, I had to put it on paper, or rather, type it out on my computer screen. As I wrote my memoirs, my life struggles were right in front of me and there was no where to go but face it head on. As I wrote, I felt my insecurities, heartache, fear, anger, joy, happiness along with regret. Bottom line for regret was not being true to myself which would have made my life better for not only me, but for my children, my family and friends.
Seeing my life in print, ok not print but on the screen, was me looking in a mirror and seeing me for the first time. I examined the who, what and why. The woman in the mirror and I cried together, laughed together and loved together. We reminisced about the past, talked about what could have been, saw what could be and what is and what my future may hold.
The woman in the mirror was kind and loving. She helped me find my inner self by simply being there to support me. She loved me for me, not for my mistakes, but for me. She never fussed, ridiculed or became angry at me for anything from my past or my current life. As the woman in the mirror looked at me she became aware of my new found awareness, of my letting go of things I can’t control.
I am now happier, kinder, more loving and have accepted the good, bad and ugly from my life. With that acceptance released much of the stress that has been with me most of my life. I am now free, free from myself to find and pursue my dreams.
So while 2020 was a tough year in my ways, with it allowed me to find inner peace. It allowed me to feel comfortable in my genes.