It never occurred to me that hurt and despair I felt for so many years was playing into me being a victim. Although it is important to know and understand what I went thru, whether it was of circumstances or of my own doing, it is important to me to not live as a victim.
It reminds me of the Shake It Off and Step Up story. An old mule fell in a well and the farmer knew the mule was old and not worth saving. The farmer filled up the old well which would bury the mule. However each time the farm threw directly into the well, the mule would step up on the dirt. By the time the dirt got to the top of the well, so did the mule. The mule was able to walk out of the well. (Author of mule story unknown)
The mule found a way to survive, just as I should find my way to survive. For me I needed to reflect and learn but never ever become the victim of circumstances from my life. Instead I choose to be a survivor.